good-bye, kind of

to my 4 blogspot followers... i have moved to the dark side, aka tumblr.

josephjyang.tumblr.com

good-bye.

lg reflection

1) How is Christ’s love compelling you to finish off this semester in your classes?

it's been kind of hard for me to figure out what it means to represent Christ in the way that we study. a lot of people say that we need to be the best of the best so that God can use us in greater ways, but in the Bible God used the uneducated to do some pretty amazing things. but it doesn't feel right to do the opposite either, to neglect my studies and purposely not be a good student. so what is the answer then? a verse that comes to mind is "whether you eat or drink do it all for the glory of God" but that's more so referring to the issue of what type of food is clean to eat and whether or not to drink alcohol, so making that verse about studying probably wouldn't connect. i'm not all too convinced the parable of the talents really is related to us trying to study hard. yeah.. i don't really know. i mean, i feel that God's called me to u of m and that my calling is to be a faithful student. but other than that, i don't really know.

2) How is Christ’s love compelling you to finish off this life group, PBinJ?

in light of Christ's sacrifice to save me, i should be moved to have the same kind of love for those in my life group. to see Christ's love move through me and transform people's lives. there are only a couple weeks left of life group so all the more there should be an urgency in my own heart to see Christ change people's lives just as He has changed mine. we have seen several people come to know Christ but there is still so much more to be done. not only are there other preChristians who don't know Christ but there are other believers who really need to experience more of Christ's love in their lives. people who need to know God on a deeper level and experience God in more powerful ways. as God has done these things in my life, i should desire to see Him do these things in others.

3) How is Christ’s love compelling you to use your time, as you plan ahead for the summer?

well, this summer i've committed to stay in aa. i'll be working for a start-up but other than that my schedule's pretty free. i really wanted to reach out to incoming freshmen by being an orientation leader but that door has all but closed. but my heart still needs to be the same. not just to reach out to incoming freshmen but to reach out to people in general. just because i'm not doing summer missions or not doing orientation i still need to have the same heart to love and serve others. this starts inside of the church as i will be serving in different ways, but it needs to extend to my work life, home life, and just going around campus to constantly be a witness of Christ to anyone i meet.

"For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again [2 Corinthians 5:14-15]"

music guy

in my musicology discussion the other day, we had this music composer come in and talk about his life and how he goes about writing music. strangely i found a lot of connections between his view on life/music and the life of a Christ-follower.

1. "i feel like it wasn't me who chose to go into music, but that music chose me. i just can't escape it."

as i learn more and more about the gospel, the more i realize that it's not about how i found God but how He found me and chose me. it's crazy to think that the creator of the universe chose me to be a part of His family.

"And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. [Romans 8:30]"

2. "i teach not because i love teaching, but because it's a way to support me financially so that i can do what i really love, which is composing music."

as a college student, it's hard not to get consumed by pursuing after a particular career or position, but that really isn't what it's all about. i've been really challenged to make my career not an ends, but simply a means to glorify God, whether directly or indirectly. to be faithful in but not consumed by studies/career opportunities.

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ. [Philippians 3:7-8]"

3. "i could go into composing music for movies and make more money, but that's not what i love. i know i'm not going to make a lot of money but i'm fine with that. i'm content with the lifestyle i have chosen."

it's hard not to compromise with what God's calling me to do. it's easy for me to disobey God's will for my life and say that i will glorify God through it. yeah, i could pursue a well-paying job in new york and i could use that job to be a witness to my coworkers, to use that money to support the church, and become an influential person in the business world. all these things i could do to glorify God, but is it really what God's will is for my life? maybe it is, maybe it isn't. but the key is obedience, not sacrifice. and to be content in obeying the Father, not matter what His will may be.

"I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. [Philippians 4:10-13]"

"But I did obey the LORD," Saul said. "I went on the mission the LORD assigned me. I completely destroyed the Amalekites and brought back Agag their king. The soldiers took sheep and cattle from the plunder, the best of what was devoted to God, in order to sacrifice them to the LORD your God at Gilgal." But Samuel replied: "Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD ? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams. For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, he has rejected you as king.[1 samuel 15:20-23]"

who knew someone could learn so much from a music guy.

update

so it's been over a month since i last posted on this blog... i guess my new year's resolution to journal more hasn't been going so well, haha.

anyways, the past few weeks have been somewhat frustrating. it seems as though after spring break everything's been just going non-stop. not only do i have to study for exams, but i've been looking all over the place trying to find a job. it seems like nothing's working out (student orientation leader, academic peer advisor, information referral assistant, gamedayhousing.com, etc.). i committed to stay in ann arbor for the summer to serve the church and i thought that because of this God would just automatically provide a job for me, but it definitely hasn't worked out that way so far. it's definitely been a humbling experience and it's been challenging my trust in God that He's in full control of every situation.

i guess i will post more once this situation unfolds. i'm still in the process of job searching and i even have a job interview later today. no matter what happens, God is still God and i am not.

Lent

"Lent, in Christian tradition, is the period of the liturgical year leading up to Easter. The traditional purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer — through prayer, penitence, almsgiving and self-denial — for the annual commemoration during Holy Week of the Death and Resurrection of Jesus, which recalls the events linked to the Passion of Christ and culminates in Easter, the celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ." [source: wikipedia.org]

as lent was starting, i began thinking of what to do for lent. in the past, i don't think what i did for lent really helped me prepare myself for Easter as i usually just gave up doing one of my bad habits, like playing video games or something. but this year, i really want to get back to the purpose of why we even go through lent. to spend the time in fasting and prayer, denying ourselves of things we enjoy for the sake of enjoying God who is even greater. with this purpose in mind i have committed to the following things.

1. not eating until i spend time in the Word. lately, i've been convicted to read the Word a lot more and have a full knowledge of it. i have been realizing how much we tend to base our Christian faith on cliches or things we hear from other people (pastors, friends, etc.) and we really have no Biblical foundation for what we believe. so, not eating until i spend time in the Word will force me to read the Bible every day because i know how hard it will be for me not to eat every day, haha. i was originally going to include prayer in this commitment but i realized that sometimes i go to chapel at 10pm and that's really late.. haha. nevertheless, this leads into my next commitment.
2. spend personal time in prayer every day.
3. no facebook, twitter, googlebuzz

i was gonna explain why for 2 and 3 but this post has been unfinished for about a week now so i thought i might as well post it and maybe edit it later if i feel necessary. goodbye.

retreat reflections

i should've written this a week ago, when everything was still fresh in my head. but yet again i have failed. this post may not be very comprehensive but at least it'll be better than nothing. hopefully my convictions will not fade away as fast as my memory does.

anyways, this winter retreat was actually really good for me. going into it, i felt that i had less anticipation than i did for undergrad. i'm not sure why, maybe it was cause i felt i had a lot more going on and was just plain busy, but who knows. nevertheless, i really do feel that God spoke to me in very real ways.

i started listening to francis chan's sermon podcasts for a year or two now and something that i really was challenged by was the way God calls us to give up everything to follow Him. i always just thought that God just wanted us to BE WILLING to give up everything to follow Him. you know, as long as we don't treasure our riches more than we treasure God, then that should be ok right? but no, from what i've read in the Bible this isn't the message Jesus preaches.

"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it."

nowhere in there do i see "and he was willing to sell all he had to buy the field, but ended up not buying it and investing the money in something else". but somehow i have always had this thought in my heart, that God doesn't call me to give up the riches of this world, but just to let it go "in my heart".

so what does this have to do with the retreat? well, the last night of the retreat i felt that the message really spoke to me. it was exactly what i was feeling, that i needed to fight hard for my relationship with God to combat burnout. and his last point was the we need to learn faith by practicing it, by putting all that we have on the line. this in particular really spoke to me and that night i just had this conviction in my heart that i have to live out this message to "sell all i have" and live for the kingdom of God. i don't know what that means for my future, but what i do know is that i need to leave everything behind and follow Christ.

another year older

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me."

i have been 20 for about 50 hours now, and surprisingly i do feel significantly older than i did a few days ago. maybe it's because i'm not a teenager anymore. maybe it's because i'm entering a new decade of life. or maybe i'm just getting old. whatever the reason may be, i do feel like i really need to "step it up" and be a man. it's kind of weird, because that verse up there was going through my head and when i actually searched for it, i was surprised that it was stuck in the middle of a passage about love. i guess God's trying to show me that a man isn't just this macho guy who lifts heavy objects and eats lots of meat, but someone who loves. so what does this mean for me? it means i can't avoid people i'm uncomfortable around. it means i can't hold grudges against those who've wronged me. it means i can't be selfish and hoard everything for myself. all these things are "childish ways" that i have to put behind. i must love with Christ's love because that is the life Christ calls me to. to love with the kind of love that stretches out to enemies, to outcasts, to the lost. who knew that being a man was so hard?

where is the love fear?

"If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. Anyone who rejected the law of Moses died without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. How much more severely do you think a man deserves to be punished who has trampled the Son of God under foot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified him, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace? For we know him who said, 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' and again, 'The Lord will judge his people.' It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God."

this is scary. this passage probably describes a majority of Christians in america, which means that a majority of us will face a "raging fire". many times we just think of Jesus as our "homeboy" and nothing else. just a friend who's always there right when we need him, but never really anything more than that. we fail to fear God, and i'm not just talking about "respecting" God, but actually fearing Him and realizing that He holds our lives in His hands and can do with us whatever He wants. it is because of this lack of fear that we think it's permissible to continue to sin because in the end Jesus will just forgive us, right? what? you didn't know that those who abuse the grace of God will be consumed by a raging fire? i'm not saying God isn't loving or forgiving, but if we live our lives abusing the grace shown to us through the cross, who's to say we'll receive that love and forgiveness? and yes, it does say in the Bible that perfect love drives out fear and that we don't have to fear judgment if we have God's love in us, but it also says shortly after that "If anyone says, 'I love God,' yet hates his brother, he is a liar." God's grace should lead to change in our lives, where we are set free from sin, not given permission to sin.

new year's resolutions

5. journal more. i feel like i often times just go through the business of life without ever reflecting on what's going on, and i've been told that this is not good. thus, i want to journal more. and since i've already created this blog, i guess i'm already halfway there. i also have a physical journal with pieces of paper in it but i do not write in it very often. hopefully it will not be the same with this blog.

4. get in shape. no, there's no girl (yet) but i do want to get in better shape. as of now, i can barely run a mile without falling to the ground and passing out. this is not good. so hopefully i'll be able to make it to the gym at least a couple times a week and lift some weights and run. i also think i need to change my diet (which the one desire fast may help with, haha). so, i need to cut down on the late night runs to nypd, eating ramen before i go to sleep with my roommates, and just eat less food in general. oh joy

3. stay focused. i've been thinking a lot lately about that philippians passage about pressing on towards the goal and i realized that i get so easily distracted from what God wants me to do in my life. i feel like i've already broken this by spending hours playing bejeweled and ncaa in the first few days of this new year (i told myself that since there's no classes, this is permissable, but it's really not). but... i want to cut down on playing video games A LOT and only play sparingly or in situations where it legitimately promotes good fellowship.

2. build relationships with people. i think i'm the type of person who will just wait for someone to invite me out to a meal or whatever, especially when it comes with older people, but i want to really intentionally build relationships with people in my life. whether that means going out for a meal together, talking on gchat, or even just studying together, i want to make sure that i really make an effort to get to know people genuinely. i especially think it's important that i build relationships with people outside of church, so that i don't trap myself in this little bubble.

1. build my relationship with God. it's funny sad that time and time again God shows me how important it is for me to love Him and know Him more, but time and time again my times with God fail to be consistent and deep as many times i'll just breeze through my brp just to get it done (or not at all). similarly to #3, i want to focus my heart on God and not get distracted by other things, even my own studies. even if it means scheduling times to spend with God i want to do it if it means that i'll spend time with Him every day. i think i specifically have to grow in my prayer life even if it means locking myself in my room while my roommates are playing xbox.

these are not really in any particular order, nor are these all of my resolutions (i wonder if i used "nor" right... probably not), but these are at least some of my resolutions. it's definitely going to be hard, but who ever said it was going to be easy?

^"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

note

why did i decide to start a blog? some possible reasons:

• to tell the world about my opinions on life and such
• to express my emotions and how i feel inside
• to gain popularity and get as many people to read this blog as i can
• i had nothing else better to do

i don't really know why i started this blog. i guess i just felt that i needed to journal more and since i loathe writing with these things called hands, i felt that typing with these things called hands would be easier. but nevertheless, this blog has been created. i'm not really concerned if people read this or not, so feel free to never visit this page again. i won't be offended.

that is all.