another year older

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me."

i have been 20 for about 50 hours now, and surprisingly i do feel significantly older than i did a few days ago. maybe it's because i'm not a teenager anymore. maybe it's because i'm entering a new decade of life. or maybe i'm just getting old. whatever the reason may be, i do feel like i really need to "step it up" and be a man. it's kind of weird, because that verse up there was going through my head and when i actually searched for it, i was surprised that it was stuck in the middle of a passage about love. i guess God's trying to show me that a man isn't just this macho guy who lifts heavy objects and eats lots of meat, but someone who loves. so what does this mean for me? it means i can't avoid people i'm uncomfortable around. it means i can't hold grudges against those who've wronged me. it means i can't be selfish and hoard everything for myself. all these things are "childish ways" that i have to put behind. i must love with Christ's love because that is the life Christ calls me to. to love with the kind of love that stretches out to enemies, to outcasts, to the lost. who knew that being a man was so hard?